This Is Why We Don’t Like John Cena
John Cena came out, RUNNING TO THE RING! Way to sell that injury John. He said that it has been a week of unrest in the WWE. He did Daniel Bryan’s Yes/No chant. He said competing on RAW last week was a bad idea, but it wouldn’t stop him from competing at Extreme Rules. He said he was confused by Ryback’s gaze into his eyes last week, and he is DTF. That means he is ready to “Do The Fandango.” He then talked about some photo with Betty White. He said he may not be 100%, but that isn’t going to stop him from defending his WWE Championship.
Vickie Guerrero came out. She said she is glad to hear that John Cena will be fighting at Extreme Rules. She said that it isn’t any ordinary PPV, and that it is Extreme. She said she wouldn’t make a stipulation without the input of the Champ and Challenger. She invited Ryback out. She asked Cena his match preference. Cena said how about a “Whine Off.” Cena did a bad Ryback impersination. He said why not do a “Vickie Guerrero’s Granny Panties On A Pole Match.” Cena said on second thought, they probably shouldn’t do that. Ryback said he would not fight Cena tonight. He ended up choosing a Last Man Standing Match.
Segment Analysis: That type of segment is exactly why we don’t like John Cena. Stupid corny jokes and references to Betty White photos that nobody gets. It was a poor comedy segment that took too long to get to the point of making the match a Last Man Standing Match. Its a good stipulation that can give both men rest spots to regain their energy. But the terrible build to it might make the match mean almost nothing. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Randy Orton>Rhodes Scholars
Damien Sandow came out and sang a great song about Randy Orton. Me writing it would do no justice. Orton attacked Sandow and clotheslined him on the outside then hit a backdrop on the barricade. Orton smashed Sandow’s head on the barricade then the ring, and went for a DDT on the floor. But Sandow backed Orton into the barricade. Orton gained control in the ring then hit a backbreaker and ten corner punches. Orton stomped Sandow then hit a dropkick into commercial. Sandow had Orton in a headlock back from break. He hit a side Russian Leg Sweep then the Elbow of Disdain for two. Orton fought out of a headlock and went into ORTON MODE!!! He hit the middle rope DDT then the RKO for the win.
The cameras went back to the announce table. Suddenly, Michael Cole pointed back to the ramp where Big Show hit a KO Punch on Orton.
Match Analysis: Nowhere close to the Orton/Rhodes match last week or Orton/Sandow from Smackdown. Go out and find Sandow mocking Orton during his entrance. Best part of the segment. Does anyone really want to see Randy Orton vs Big Show? Survey Says: 2/5
Chris Jericho came out. He said he put together a judge’s panel to judge Fandango’s upcoming match. He brought out his judges, Tons of Funk. Fandango said Jericho doesn’t deserve to judge him. R-Truth hit a heel kick then a face first suplex on Fandango then a kick to the back of the head. Fandango rolled out of the ring, then left after the judge’s gave R-Truth’s dance a 10. So that is Fandango’s first loss in his career? That was weak. And dumb.
Daniel Bryan was interviewed. He challenged Ryback to a match. Ryback said No, and that Bryan is in no condition to fight him. Kane showed up and said what about him. He said Kane isn’t the monster he used to be and ended with RYBACK RULES. So is that a yes or no?
Ziggler Win? Nah
Alberto del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler. Del Rio started with a headlock takedown. He then hit a hip toss and kick to the back. Ziggler fought back with a dropkick, then some kicks and a splash in the corner. Del Rio side stepped Ziggler then hit a kick to the arm. Ziggler blocked a suplex and hit one of his own. Ziggler got caught in the ropes and ADR hit some kidney punches then a back stabber. Jack Swagger’s music played and him and Zeb Colter walked to the ring for commentary. Back from break Ziggler hit a dropkick for a nearfall. Ziggler hit a multitude of elbows. Del Rio fought out of a headlock with a jaw breaker then a face first slam. Del Rio missed his enziguri kick in the corner, but I think he still connected by accident on the fall to the mat. Del Rio went for the cross armbreaker but Ziggler countered into a neckbreaker. Del Rio knocked Ziggler off the turnbuckle, then hit a reverse face first suplex off the top for two. Ziggler missed a splash in the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit some clotheslines then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and kick to the face for two. After a couple of counters, Del Rio applied the cross armbreaker. A.J. distracted the ref, allowing Big E to grab Del Rio and throw him into Swagger, causing a DQ. Swagger took out Big E then Del Rio. He grabbed a ladder and took out Dolph and Del Rio in the ring, and Ricardo out of the ring.
Match Analysis: Average match. Swagger is the first man to look strong headed into Extreme Rules. Would have preferred to see a Ziggler win there, especially after taking a loss last week, but we know the WWE doesn’t book heels to look strong the majority of the time. Match had a couple of good spots. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Kaitlyn tooked about her secret admirer with Natalya, Cameron and Naomi. Apparently Great Khali is going undercover to find out. After they left, the Bellas came out and smiled. Looks like someone is trolling Kaitlyn.
The Shield defeated Kofi Kingston and The Usos. The Shield domianted most of the match until Kofi got the hot tag. Seth Rollins eventually pushed Kofi off the top rope and Ambrose hit a face first DDT for the win. Typical Shield match against jobbers. Just a way to get them on TV.
Antonio Cesaro made quick work of Zack Ryder. Afterwords he took the mic and said there was no one in the WWE that is as good as him.
Brock Lesnar: Home Decorator?
Paul Heyman showed up live via satellite. Heyman showed the footage of him and Lesnar in WWE Headquarters. Lesnar stared down a guy in the elevator. They looked at PPV Posters, with a subtle tease of Rock/Brock with Brock looking at the Rumble poster. Brock destroyed HHH’s office. The only think he didn’t destroy was the office plant. Heyman said he is usually the one begging Brock Lesnar to stop. Heyman said he is no longer going to discourage Brock Lesnar, he is going to encourage and beg Brock to destroy HHH. Triple H came out. He asked if Paul Heyman ever opened his mouth without a bunch of crap coming out of it. Hunter said he knows extreme. He co-founded D-X, tore through the Attitude Era and beat Brock Lesnar. HHH said Heyman knew he was at RAW. HHH said he has two offices, and he is standing in one of them. HHH said he became a man in the ring, something Brock isn’t. Hunter said if Brock ever wants to say something to him, he isn’t hard to find. And in the ring, he fights back.
Segment Analysis: It seems like they are just reaching with this feud now. No CM Punk or Rock, so the WWE had to keep these two going at it rather than build to another program with Brock. Resorting to destroying HHH’s office? Now that gets a feud going! Survey Says: 2/5
Kaitlyn, Cameron and Naomi defeated A.J. and The Bellas. A.J. slapped Kaitlyn and went to tag the Bellas but they bailed. Kaitlyn hit the Spear for the win.
Mark Henry: Belt Thief?
Mark Henry came out. He said Sheamus is going to come out and act real tough. But that is the problem. Sheamus acts tough. But Mark Henry is really tough. Henry replayed some of his attacks on Sheamus. He said if Sheamus has any guts, he will face him at Extreme Rules. Henry said it has been a long time since he got extreme, but people will remember this match. Sheamus came out and showed some clips of him getting the better of Henry. Henry didn’t want to wait until Extreme Rules. They were ready to fight but Wade Barrett came out, he already had a match scheduled with Sheamus.
Back from commercial Sheamus vs Wade Barret already started. Sheamus hit a high knee then his rope punches. Sheamus then knocked Barrett off the apron. Sheamus went to throw Barrett into Henry, but he stopped himself. Henry got up and was hit with a Brogue Kick. In the ring, Sheamus hit a battering ram on Barrett. Barrett came back with a roll up, but Sheamus hit the Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Barrett ducked a Brogue Kick and hit two kicks of his own. Sheamus ducked an elbow and hit White Noise. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick for the win.
After the match, Henry hit Sheamus with a belt then hit the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.
Segment Analysis: Looks like we are on our way to a Strap Match at Extreme Rules. At least this feud has a little heat to it, but not that much. I still think Henry is underrated and can be used better, but that is just me. Sheamus just comes off as a huge dick as a face. Survey Says: 2.5/5
An ad aired for a Fandango/Chris Jericho Dance Off Next Week.
This Is The Main Event? I Feel Bad For The Paying Audience
Main event time. Kane had control early. On the outside, Ryback tossed Kane into the barricade. Back from break Ryback hit a bodyslam then a splash. Ryback hit a Lou Thesz press, but then ran right into a Kane boot. Kane went for a chokeslam, but Ryback got out of it. Kane hit an upper cut then a DDT for two. Kane then hit some clotheslines in the corner, but Ryback came right back with a spinebuster. Kane countered with a suplex for two. Ryback crotched Kane on the turnbuckle, then hit Shell Shocked for the win.
After the match, The Shield came out. Daniel Bryan came out to protect Kane, but Ryback bailed. John Cena came out to help Bryan. Ryback came back with a chair and he used it on Cena.
Segment Analysis: Ho-hum ending to a ho-hum RAW. Match wasn’t great, and as much as I love The Shield it is getting to the point where it is the same thing week in and week out. I don’t know why the announcers sold shock from Ryback’s actions. This was very much a “hold steady” show in anticipation for the final build to Extreme Rules next week. Survey Says: 2/5
There just wasn’t a lot to this show to like. There was one decent match between Ziggler and Alberto del Rio, and that was it. Nothing else really seemed to matter or do too much. The advancement for HHH/Lesnar was terrible. HHH said he didn’t care about his office being destroyed, basically negating the whole point of that segment. Sheamus continues to be booked as a terrible babyface. Dolph Ziggler isn’t being booked like a World Champ. And The Shield needs to do something a bit different before their act starts getting a little to stale. The filler was exactly that, filler. Nothing of note on this show. I’m giving it a 2.
Until Next Time,
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